Entry #5: Reflections on Class-End and Practicum-Start

Wow! My title screams with awkward grammatical despair; oh well, I'm slowly exploring my use of the hyphen.

Though it seems like "forever ago", I'll start with what I thought of Integration Day and that blurry period in which is incessantly stressed about the ensuing practicum. For me, our formal Integration Day reiterated the "what-you-make-it" aspect of studying and pursuing education. So many teachers that I've spoken with have suggested the "born, not made" philosophy of teachers. While I nevertheless think that skills can certainly be attained and further developed, sometimes, I think that much of teaching is comfort and willingess to be yourself and relax. Even still, I'm undecided about what makes teachers, but I think that a lot of what is taught in our education courses necessitate for individual application and exploration. So often it is easy to complain about what we don't learn or what is dreadfully emphasized, but fail to take the task into our own hands of actually "playing with" the material we're given, rather than just memorizing it to fill in on a test. Integration is, in my opinion, the most important part of preparing to enter the classroom following weeks of theoretically-based coursework. For me, I think I had pretty much done my "integration-reflection" before we all met; at the same time, it was beneficial to share with others and sum-up what we had been doing for the last weeks.

I eventually started to enjoy planning my unit. As we had previously discussed, I found it difficult planning for a group of learners that I really had little knowledge about. How fast can they read? What are they interested in? What is actually important at this level? How many assignments? Do I need chapter questions? Quizzes? Even while I knew I'd have to change much of my planning, it was still nice to enter with a "plan of action". It was wonderful to work alongside Nicole C., as she planned a very similar unit, save for a different schedule. Bouncing ideas back and forth was a great way to further develop and mold my "stuff" into a workable unit of instruction.

I guess I can start easing "into the practicum", which is going so well. Again, as I've mentioned before, I have a difficulty with the fact that perfection is elusive and incredibly challenging to measure and attain in the field of education. Being a quasi-perfectionist, I sometimes find teaching painful, because as soon as I say, do or think something, I automatically reassess and wince at simple errors. Bittersweet, I suppose. However, with my practicum thus far, I have tried very hard to maintain a positive attitude that emphasizes growth, not perfection. Whether mentally, on paper, or in lesson reflections, I am developing a nice list of "next times...", and "ahas" for future experiences. Whether it is direction-giving, attention-getting, plot-disclosing, marking...the list goes on...I know that if nothing else, I am learning how to be a better teacher.

I am starting to really enjoy my students. Of course, there are a few that are challenging. When I was placed in the first grade for PSI, I was nervous. In piano and swimming lessons, I am fine with young students for short periods. I am patient when students have trouble understanding or doing new things; I am not, however, patient when students fail to try and are ummotivated. So, then, when I have come to discover that many tenth grade students are so similar to six-year-olds, I have a little less patience! At least the kids in grade one are cute and try their best! The fact that there is a lot of babysitting, catch-up and tag in high school somewhat came as a small surprize. It is ironic that it is more work for me than for the students that choose not to work. There is a lot of administrative work involved with record-keeping and such that is important. I want my students to be successful, but I also want them to have responsibility.

As you know, I really want to teach G+T, IB or AP; it came as a small surprize, then, that I thus far prefer my 10-2 class to my 10-1! They might be non-attenders, low-achievers, and students with behaviour issues, but they are engaging, relatively willing to participate and receptive! My 10-1s, while some are certainly wonderful, are much more hesitant to participate in class discussion, are more reluctant to perform exceptionally on work, and so on. I really need to find some tactics to get them highly motivated and excited. I want to authentically assess them, and want to avoid drowning them with chapter questions and chapter quizzes; however, some probably aren't reading, and can coast through novel studies by simply listening in class. I had my 10-1s bring character artefacts and write rationales, and probably half of the class directly referred to similar objects that I had suggested or topics that were somewhat heavily discussed in class. ...at least they're listening? haha. Unfortunately, I'm already four chapters behind, but will catch up next week. C'est la vie? I sort of regret giving my students my tentative calendar at the beginning; I hope they don't think I'm horrible if we're so off the map. Lesson learned.

Though I still love my alma mater, (Churchill), LCI is starting to grow on me. The English department is quite welcoming, and my TA gives great feedback and lots of assistance. I'm starting to help with National Honour Society next week, so I'm really excited about that. My friend Jory is a PSII in Drama, and is teaching a musical theatre unit in her Audition class, which I have the pleasure of accompanying in my Mod40 spare.

My 10-2s are starting a unit on Heroes. Though extrinsic rewards aren't always ideal, for these students, incentives like hat-wearing, cheesy prizes, and video clips and such are quite promising thus far. Planning my second unit next weekend was great after having had a week in 10-1 and watching the 10-2s. Knowing their attendance, their abilities and such made it much easier to structure a unit with a considerable amount breathing space. (This does, however, mean a lot of short-term planning along the way.) As I want to work on my own creative writing skills, I'm trying to write a short story with a subtle heroic element that will appeal to my students. My students can hopefully help me edit it, and perhaps inspire them to write their own. My biggest concern with my Heroes unit is my progressive approach to major assignments. There is a definite clash of concern with the 10-2 students, in that: a) they don't attend regularly; b) they generally need lots of chunking and small sequential steps in instruction. As such, when we write our final essay, we'll be writing one part per class. For the students that miss class, they will be at an unfortunate disadvantage. Even still, I hope that their attendance improves, or that my handouts and resources will serve effectively in "self-learning" if necessary.

Disclaimer: I'm clicking "publish" without editing or checking for errors.

Well, to conclude this somewhat all-over-the-place reflection, I was quite pleased with PSII. Again, the most important aspect for me is the application, which isn't easy. Considering so many aspects of teaching/learning all the time is a challenge when bombarded with myriad "to dos". Even in high school teachers wear many hats, and it can prove difficult to wear them all at once without dropping one or two. Weighing the importance of some issues is essential to "getting through" a day. As I start into the second week, I hope to improve my clarity of instruction, to better communicate with my students with disabilities and their aide, to more skilfully lead discussions about the novel, and to continue to increase my confidence and classroom management.